... has been an enormous pain in my ass.
I got 10k words into it, decided it was irreparably broken, and scrapped it. I'm about 7k in to the second one (same character names, everything else is different) and I'm having the same sinking feeling!
GAH!!
Version 1: A woman with a mild-ish lung illness works from home. She has a dog she loves like family since she doesn't get out much.
Right as she starts a breathing treatment, she hears her dog barking wildly. Looks outside. 2 men are fighting in her backyard (no fence, rural). The dog is trying to attack the bad guy, but he picks the dog up and throws it, injuring it. She runs out to save her baby, distracts the good guy Elemental, and he gets cold-cocked by the bad guy.
Since she's ill and didnt finish her treatment, the stress of the situation makes her have an attack where she cant breath, but doggy needs to go to the emergency vet. She begs Elemental (doesnt know he's good guy) not to kill her but to instead save her & puppy. Turns out he's the Air Elemental - surprise! - and has a soft spot for animals, so of course he helps her.
Drives her to vet, feeding her air the entire time, unbeknownst to her. Drives her home.
Next morning she drives to vet, learn he's already been there to visit her doggy. Goes outside to the parking lot and sees him. It's a romance, :p , so he asks her to go out with him. She declines due to the situation, but he gives her his number in case she changes her mind. She isn't going to.
But then she has a bad dr's appointment, finds out her condition is degenerating, and she starts regretting all the stuff she hasn't done, all the chances she hasn't taken. She calls him, they set up a date. They go on a few adventures. One of them is hiking (he's still feeding her air without her knowledge).
While hiking, the bad guys attack en-force, and since they null his powers, when he's done cleaning house, his lady is passed out and dying from lack of oxygen.
And then.... and then NOTHING. I have no ideas, no plot points, can't figure out any good, relevant way to get to the ending.
Which is of course, YAY, she knows what he is now, being with him makes her healthier, and they walk into the sunset together, to live happily ever after.
The only thing I know so that there is a chaos portal up in them there hills where they got attacked, that he has to go back and find, because that's important to set up for book 3.
Version 2: The Elemental guys have mortal bodies, so they have mortal urges. They are sterile, so they take care of these urges with one-night stands with willing women. In flashback, we learn some nice lady ended up at the bar they look for women at one night. Air guys decides she's the one, he's not interested in anyone else, he wants a one-night stand with her and no-one else there. He woos her, successfully obviously. This isnt her usual m.o., so she slinks off the next morning in embarassment, plus he made it crystal clear that it couldnt be a more than one night thing. They dont exchange any info or anything because he's not allowed to have any relationships with humans and because of her embarrassment.
A year later, she's been at the bar every night for the last few months desperately waiting for him to come through the door. He finally does, sees her, they get smoochy, but the she backs off and says they need to talk. He just wants to talk with body language, know what I mean? :p
But he humors her, and she says she knows about his powers. That's really serious, and he loses control a little bit, and unintentionally suffocates her. She comes to just as Air guy's friend comes out to check on them, looks like they are embracing, he leaves.
Air guy takes her home, insisting on finding out how the heck she knows about his powers and what her game is. She says that she had a baby from their night together, he doesnt believe her because, sterile! They argue, she goes in her house and he drives away.
Half way back to base, he turns around, determined to figure it out because if she knows about him and is working for someone, they are all in danger.
But when he gets to her house, he senses the bad guys. Runs up into the hills behind her home, fights them. They temporarily incapacitate him, and then run away! Unheard of! :D He's about to chase after them, when he hears... a baby crying.
He runs down to her house, senses a very powerful Erratic, and knows that's who the bad guys are after it and runs in to save his lady.
He enters the nursery and realizes several things at the same time. It's all trashed and the wind is blowing inside the house. The baby is the powerful Erratic and yeah, somehow he's the father. So his lady knew about his powers because she dealt with them with her own baby, but doesnt know about the rest of them, or the bad guys, who are after the baby.
And then there is the small matter of being forbidden to reveal themselves to humans or to breed, because it makes new Erratics. If anyone finds out, he'll be exiled from this world and imprisoned (or some other dire consequence I haven't figured out yet). So he decides thats unacceptable, because a) he cant protect humans if he isnt there b) what kind of soldier would he be if he didnt try to protect his own son and c) he doesnt want to leave his woman.
I havent figured out how to work out this part yet, but basically he keeps the secret of his insta-family from all the other soldiers and his commander, while trying to balance protecting them from the bad guys and his other soldier duties.
Something happens, his baby and woman get taken by the Chaolt, he has to tell the other soldiers the situation so they'll help him rescue them. Which of course they do.
The end is still up in the air too, because I dont know whether his commander turns him in to the higher-ups and he has to go on trial or something, or if his commander deliberately keeps his secret and just insists they move into the base with all of them for protection.
And somehow, happy ever after from all of that??
.
.
.
.
I don't know why I'm writing all this out lol, I know you can't really reply. Maybe we could talk about it on the phone soon? Which sounds more interesting/salvageable/any ideas that jump out at you? It's been a very frustrating couple of weeks trying to figure this out, and I just need help lol, because this book is just not talking to me.
But everything else is. In fact, in the meantime, I've had plot bunnies hopping all over my brain. I've already started Book 3, I wrote part of a stand-alone cyborg erotic romance, and I've planned out my next *3* series after I'm done with Elementals.....
I just can't even. I need another brain to help me out lol. Srsly. Can I borrow yours? :p
I got 10k words into it, decided it was irreparably broken, and scrapped it. I'm about 7k in to the second one (same character names, everything else is different) and I'm having the same sinking feeling!
GAH!!
Version 1: A woman with a mild-ish lung illness works from home. She has a dog she loves like family since she doesn't get out much.
Right as she starts a breathing treatment, she hears her dog barking wildly. Looks outside. 2 men are fighting in her backyard (no fence, rural). The dog is trying to attack the bad guy, but he picks the dog up and throws it, injuring it. She runs out to save her baby, distracts the good guy Elemental, and he gets cold-cocked by the bad guy.
Since she's ill and didnt finish her treatment, the stress of the situation makes her have an attack where she cant breath, but doggy needs to go to the emergency vet. She begs Elemental (doesnt know he's good guy) not to kill her but to instead save her & puppy. Turns out he's the Air Elemental - surprise! - and has a soft spot for animals, so of course he helps her.
Drives her to vet, feeding her air the entire time, unbeknownst to her. Drives her home.
Next morning she drives to vet, learn he's already been there to visit her doggy. Goes outside to the parking lot and sees him. It's a romance, :p , so he asks her to go out with him. She declines due to the situation, but he gives her his number in case she changes her mind. She isn't going to.
But then she has a bad dr's appointment, finds out her condition is degenerating, and she starts regretting all the stuff she hasn't done, all the chances she hasn't taken. She calls him, they set up a date. They go on a few adventures. One of them is hiking (he's still feeding her air without her knowledge).
While hiking, the bad guys attack en-force, and since they null his powers, when he's done cleaning house, his lady is passed out and dying from lack of oxygen.
And then.... and then NOTHING. I have no ideas, no plot points, can't figure out any good, relevant way to get to the ending.
Which is of course, YAY, she knows what he is now, being with him makes her healthier, and they walk into the sunset together, to live happily ever after.
The only thing I know so that there is a chaos portal up in them there hills where they got attacked, that he has to go back and find, because that's important to set up for book 3.
Version 2: The Elemental guys have mortal bodies, so they have mortal urges. They are sterile, so they take care of these urges with one-night stands with willing women. In flashback, we learn some nice lady ended up at the bar they look for women at one night. Air guys decides she's the one, he's not interested in anyone else, he wants a one-night stand with her and no-one else there. He woos her, successfully obviously. This isnt her usual m.o., so she slinks off the next morning in embarassment, plus he made it crystal clear that it couldnt be a more than one night thing. They dont exchange any info or anything because he's not allowed to have any relationships with humans and because of her embarrassment.
A year later, she's been at the bar every night for the last few months desperately waiting for him to come through the door. He finally does, sees her, they get smoochy, but the she backs off and says they need to talk. He just wants to talk with body language, know what I mean? :p
But he humors her, and she says she knows about his powers. That's really serious, and he loses control a little bit, and unintentionally suffocates her. She comes to just as Air guy's friend comes out to check on them, looks like they are embracing, he leaves.
Air guy takes her home, insisting on finding out how the heck she knows about his powers and what her game is. She says that she had a baby from their night together, he doesnt believe her because, sterile! They argue, she goes in her house and he drives away.
Half way back to base, he turns around, determined to figure it out because if she knows about him and is working for someone, they are all in danger.
But when he gets to her house, he senses the bad guys. Runs up into the hills behind her home, fights them. They temporarily incapacitate him, and then run away! Unheard of! :D He's about to chase after them, when he hears... a baby crying.
He runs down to her house, senses a very powerful Erratic, and knows that's who the bad guys are after it and runs in to save his lady.
He enters the nursery and realizes several things at the same time. It's all trashed and the wind is blowing inside the house. The baby is the powerful Erratic and yeah, somehow he's the father. So his lady knew about his powers because she dealt with them with her own baby, but doesnt know about the rest of them, or the bad guys, who are after the baby.
And then there is the small matter of being forbidden to reveal themselves to humans or to breed, because it makes new Erratics. If anyone finds out, he'll be exiled from this world and imprisoned (or some other dire consequence I haven't figured out yet). So he decides thats unacceptable, because a) he cant protect humans if he isnt there b) what kind of soldier would he be if he didnt try to protect his own son and c) he doesnt want to leave his woman.
I havent figured out how to work out this part yet, but basically he keeps the secret of his insta-family from all the other soldiers and his commander, while trying to balance protecting them from the bad guys and his other soldier duties.
Something happens, his baby and woman get taken by the Chaolt, he has to tell the other soldiers the situation so they'll help him rescue them. Which of course they do.
The end is still up in the air too, because I dont know whether his commander turns him in to the higher-ups and he has to go on trial or something, or if his commander deliberately keeps his secret and just insists they move into the base with all of them for protection.
And somehow, happy ever after from all of that??
.
.
.
.
I don't know why I'm writing all this out lol, I know you can't really reply. Maybe we could talk about it on the phone soon? Which sounds more interesting/salvageable/any ideas that jump out at you? It's been a very frustrating couple of weeks trying to figure this out, and I just need help lol, because this book is just not talking to me.
But everything else is. In fact, in the meantime, I've had plot bunnies hopping all over my brain. I've already started Book 3, I wrote part of a stand-alone cyborg erotic romance, and I've planned out my next *3* series after I'm done with Elementals.....
I just can't even. I need another brain to help me out lol. Srsly. Can I borrow yours? :p
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